have you ever thought that you're not loved anymore..
that you've been left out by these particular circle of people..
that you thought you are not needed anymore?
that you feel like running away out of suffocation thinking they the one who cause them...
just when you misunderstood this things..
just when you think about the worst of everything...
they are there worrying about you...
thinking of your well being...
questioning themselves are you fine being on your own in this mean world without them by your side..
praying for the safety of your life regardless if it may risk theirs..
sincerely...
i thought i was 'you'..
i thought i am not needed and i am left out alone..
this is my thin minded teenage thought..
my stupidity that leads me to all the misunderstanding..
typical me who think that i'm too protected by them..
me who think that they don't believe i can't survive well in this world..
me who think they who live their whole life with me don't understand a bit about me..
how can i not see all their sacrifices..
how can i think the worst of these people when all they did was great deeds..
God...
forgive me of being this naive...
i didn't know.. i really didn't know..
i failed them many times..
they get angry...
yet.. they never give up on me..
i thought all they did was pushed me to above my limitation..
who knew that they actually know my ability is much higher than i am now..
they knew all along...
i'm the one who underestimate myself..
not them...
i didn't dare to call him..
i was too afraid..
what will he say??
surely i know i disappointed him again this time...
i know i may not be qualify of his apology..
when he called me..
he asked for my well-being..
he asked me and worry about me...
gives me advice and reminds me of who i am and how i should be...
saying it with his loving tone..
not angry at all..
all i heard was the voice who sounds so worry of his child..
i'm thankful...
of having a father that no one else could have..
i'm really thankful to have this family..
family who cares so much about each other..
family who pushed each other to do what others may think is absurd...
family who believes in each other and depends on each other..
family who in the end.. i know will always sticks together..
i'm sorry for all iv'e done..
this naive me know nothing other than to worry all of you..
this troublesome me always upset everyone of you..
please know all good that i have become is due to all of you guys and God..
and also know the bad that is in me is all from what i have learnt myself..
it's my own fault..
you people creates the best out of me...
thank you my family..
for all the worry and care..
also the scolding and advice...
