a very hectic day..

woke up at 9 a.m today..
but was lazying around till 10 then prepared myself before meeting miss Fathnie..
we planned to go to Sunway Lagoon so packed my clothes for it..

arrived UiTM Shah Alam at 11.20 but fath just finished with her presentation so she came to the car at 11.55 i think... not sure... ;p poor her was rushing i think... hehe

then we went to Tabung Haji...
that's when our 1st trouble appeared..
Tabung haji required people wearing hijjab only to enter the bank..
and i wasn't wearing any.. lol
what we did was my sister gave me her scarf and waited in the car for us to finish..
2nd problem came..
waited for 2 and a half hours for the freaking queue to cash out some amount of money then in the end our transaction failed.. why??

conversation between cm(counter man) and me..
cm : who's the police in the family? (after looking at my acc book.. its under my dad's police i/c...)
me : my dad..
cm : does ur dad know ur cashing out this amount of money??
me : er... == yes...
cm : give me ur dad's number then?
me: ok... 016-#######...
cm : ok.. wait..
after talking for a while....
cm : u can't cash out the money because u have to change the i/c on this book..
me : really? then how to change that?
cm : come with your dad (with a freaking annoying face)

went to my sister's car and cried..
called my dad and talked to him about it..
after he talked with my sister... she told me that the cm was embarrass cause when he called my dad.. he asked whether i'm his daughter or not and my dad said 'yes! fadzlin hanis ramli is my daughter! i was the one who let her cash out HER OWN money!'
so in conclusion for this event.. this freaking annoying man thought i'm cashing out the money secretly without my father's knowledge...
know what's more annoying? when i called my 3rd brother asking how did he do the transaction without any problem cause his acc book was under my dad's i/c as well.. then he said he just did it without any problem..
that's when i really cried... cause i was so tired of waiting and in the end the guy simply deny them... hurh..

3rd prob...
sis was using harrier and i'm using her myvi...
so as i was using the gps to kl..
if u guys know the federal highway...
gps kept asking us to go to the left when there's two direction which in the end.. we still have to go back on the same highway again...
stupid gps... pissed me off!

4th problem...
we went to low yat..
i was looking for the phone that my sister sent to the shop for repair (was my phone but i drop it inside the car and she found it and she use her money to fix it so it became hers which has made me cried right now AGAIN... didn't tell her how i felt but it really3 hurt tho... seriously... :"(  )
so we were looking for the place.. may i remind u guys that we haven't ate the whole day so it was really tiring... when from ground floor to the highest floor... called the guy like 4 5 times and finally found the place after soooo long.... but it was really tiring... imagine going around that place without even eat anything yet... :'(

5th problem..
the guy in the store tried to cheat on me.. ON ME!
so i know my phone and i know the keypad in that phone..
as i was looking at that phone.. i told him about the keypad had changed and it became harder to type..
store guy (sg) and me
sg : maybe you're phone already that way when you send it here..
me : no.. i know this phone and it's not like this..
sg : no.. this phone have to change the keypad.. if want to change the keypad.. u have to pay extra rm60..
me : why dont u just uncover the keypad and let me see it?
sg : its all together.. i cant uncover them... you have to change..
me : what?? changing the screen already use up rm 230.. now ur saying i have to add 60 just to fix the keypad??
sg : yes... thats the only way...
so i stood there for 10 mins looking at my phone...
the boss came and asked what's the problem so i told him..
he told sg to fix it cause its only one key that couldn't be press..
3 mins later..
i tried the keypad and its good as new..
the dude tried to cheat on me for my 60 bucks when he can actually fix the damn thing in 3 mins...

6th..
my bag stuck on a thingy on the escalator that i had to run down a going up escalator to unstuck my bag.. ==" very embarrassing..

7th..
my sister took the phone.. maybe i should pay her back the money for her to give me back the phone... i know it's my mistake for accidentally left the phone in her car but its quite hard for me to leave the phone since the phone is a sentimental item to me.. :( wish me luck.

thank you..

i'm not being bias towards all my other best friends..
its just that today i'm going to talk about my greatest and longest best friend i have in my life...

NURUL FATHNIE BINTI RUSTAM.


we've been friends for more than half a decade..
7 years and still counting..

what about us that made our relationship special?
we started our relationship with hatred..
she hated me..
I hated me...
i was snobbish, so i heard..
the only people i wanted to be friend with are people from my class..
the coincidentally we entered the same club..
geography & history club..
there was a welcome event for newcomers..
each people was separated with their own group and she happened to be in mine.
and from there, we got to know about each other...

in friendship, there was always argument between us,
there's always things that doesn't look right in our eyes..

she's a pro in playing badminton..
so we entered a badminton competition for our school,
teacher pared me with her,
we lost because of me.. haha
I SUCK...
and she ends up crying and didn't talk to me for quite a while... hahahhahaha

there's times when we argue and it was my fault and i don't want to apologize..
she still talks to me after..
i hope she knows how happy i was..
i hope she knows how regretful i was not being able to lower my ego and talked to her and say that i'm really sorry..

oh! she have an ANT voice... ;p

we always share everything..
ALWAYS..
even if i try to hide them,
i guess my mouth just slip it away...
mouth got use to her..

what's funny was that we got immune to each other to the point that some irritating things doesn't bother us anymore..
i love winning and she just let me wins though she knows i was obviously WRONG...
what came to my mind went to hers first...
we all knows her for her food craving and must satisfy them or else she'll become a hulk.. NO JOKE.
she got her own fashion sense and it's really fun to watch.. :)

so why am i saying thank you?
because i'm thankful that she want to be my friend..
i'm thankful for the time that we shared together..
i'm thankful for meeting a sweet girl like her...
i'm thankful that she could stand me for my attitude and my whine...
i'm thankful for all her laugh to my not so funny jokes...
and for most...

I'M THANKFUL FOR THE HIJJAB/SCARF..
I'M THANKFUL FOR THE BOOK..
I'M THANKFUL FOR THE VERY INSPIRING AND SUPPORTING NOTE..(thinking whether should i or should i not post the note content..hurm... still thinking...)
I'M THANKFUL THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE TO SUPPORT ME TO THE END...

THANK YOU FATH...
THANK YOU FOR BEING MY GIRLFRIEND, MY BEST FRIEND, MY BEST FRIENAMY, MY SISTER AND MY EVERYTHING...

i love you... to the end...
my prayer are always will be with you sweetheart...
:) dapat banyak pahala la kau tue...
bgs la.. <3

forever and always will be my best friend.. <3

they live all their life just for us..

i'm sure in every family, there's always argument between parents and child, right?

there's always something or some part of their talk that we disagree about..

whenever they give advises that might sound a little harsh or hurtful but its the truth, we looked the other way and make those irritated face...

whenever they say something, we talked back cause we have that urge to do so, cause we thought we were right, we thought they don't understand us...

there's always those time when you want to go out and they say no straight away without mercy..

have we ever realize?

that our parents never hoped for any argument to happened?

all those talks they gave are for us to be better?

how hurt they felt when you look away cause what they hope for was for you to listen and to know what's best?

how sad they were cause they never taught you to be rude, where did you learnt that from??

that they know that you are not mature enough to go out on your own and they're scared that you'll get influenced by you friends?

maybe some of you did thought of all this reasons before..

i thought of it as well..

yet sometimes, i did neglect what my brain told me and i follow what my feelings asked me to do..

to be mad..

ego increased...

hatred occurred...

all the above feelings are mixed together..

how i'm ashamed...

how stupid i was...

all the sweat that runs through their body.... who is it for?
all the money the earned.. who is it for??
all the things they did... who is it for???

we sweat ourselves finishing all their money while they sweat working their ass off for us...

not all children are like what i mention now...
but don't deny that most of us are the same....
we disobey...

now we should start open or eyes wide..
notice them,
notice their silent tears,
notice how weak they have become,
notice that they held back how they felt thousand times more handling us with all our whines,
notice that we should now change for them...

its our turn to think of them now,
let them feel at ease..
for their sake...

do that if you really love them..

why we loved... we hurt... we fall... we rise.... and we love again..

its not always flowery when we're in a relationship with our love one..
we argue..
we laugh.
we cry..
we smile...
we share...
we fight..
and with this..
we cherish every moment that we share with them...
all the pain we've gone through because of them...
all the feeling we don't know exist has been discovered...

and when we start not appreciating that moments we had..
that's when we let go and we don't want to try anymore...
every beautiful moments has become our worst nightmares..
what was once cute has become so ugly we would scoop out our eyes just to not see them...
and what was once love... it turns to hatred...

the one who still wants to held on to that relationship will stand there hoping..
hoping that one day the love one will come back and hold that empty hand..
when we know that won't happen..
it leaves us with a broken heart..
hating what love has turned us to be...
wondering what less in us that they would want to leave...
we cry...
we remember...
we laugh..
we cry again...
and we try to forget everything...

we start finding new love...
hoping that maybe finally.. we'll find ourselves the right one..
the one who would still stand next to you when you push them away...
the one who would not only lend their shoulder, but if they could they'd give them to you just for your comfort when you're at your worst..
the one who will understand you craziness and still keeps up with you..
the one who won't take you for granted..
the one who sees you and only you when you're in a crowd of people..
the one who would make fun of you cause that's how close both of you are..
the one who got immune to you..
the one who would still proudly hold your hand when you look your very worst..
the one who would kiss you when you just woke up in the morning with your sliver..(ewww)

when we found that person..
we won't let them go anymore..
not again...

how?
lets get engaged..
hehehehehe

this is none sense in the end..
=="

in Tawau, people knows people..

There's no place like home...

living almost my whole life here made me fond to this calm and peaceful surrounding..

but in this town of mine...

there's one thing i hate most...

is being known by people..

by anonymous..

by strangers..

by people who love giving shit about my life...

i know i'm a nobody...

i'm no artist...

i'm no politician...

i'm nothing....

i'm just a teenage adult who still live under my parents armpits...

don't know much shit about how life should be done cause i'm always protected by my siblings...

i do all the wrong things cause life still young..

its fun doing stupid things once in a while..

in reality..

i'm the daughter of somebody who use to be a 'somebody' here...

not being arrogant...

not being proud...

not showing off..

so because of that...

every steps that i made are being watched by people..

i couldn't live my life without some random person calling my parents saying that they saw me somewhere in town...

i couldn't live my life without my facebook picture being taken by some random old dude to be shown to my parents...

the fuck with that??

it's not always fun to be known by people..

it's not always fun when people talks about you..

it's not fun at all when you can't be yourself in front of people just because they aspect a lot from you..

faking a smile in front of a bitch so that they won't talk shit about you is a misery...

you can't show your middle finger cause who know... this might comes out in the news the next day...

in Tawau.. people knows people...

busy body talks...

gossipers spreads...

and the one who got hurt is the victims...

2012 resolution.

honestly... i never had this resolution thing before cause i had lived my life following its flow..
but since i'm reaching my 20 now.. i guess i had to think of something that could make me look my age.. something 'mature' in other word...

so let see what i had in mind...

1st of all...
as what i had already stated in my facebook, i would like to be a better Muslimah.... i know i'm not a good enough person and always made too much mistakes in one time... but hopefully through time, i'll learnt from my mistakes.. little by little... Insha Allah...

2nd..
i believe i'm going to stick being single again through this whole year... :) why so? its not that i have become lesbian or anything... i just think that i have not yet settled my feelings towards that one man i have a crush on... emphasize the 'HAVE'... means i still do like him to this point... i don't know when it will end... he still have my heart and too stubborn to return it... therefore, i'll wait till my heart is return before i find myself another lover to give to...

3rd...
to love all the scandals i will have and is currently having evenly... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (ayat mau kena penampar terunggul!) kidding...

4th..
to live a happy life going through all the hardship i'm going to face... laugh along with all the mistakes i'm going to make.... cry to every sad moments i'm going to endure and suck up with it.... be less angry with anything that comes in between...

5th and foremost...
i just wish that along this year... i will forget about you.... going through everything without you in my dream or even my sight.... cause if u happened to appear, i might need another more year to recover... so be gone... just appear as one of my memories that i sometimes remember...